Nothing Tastes as Good as This Feels

It has been a whirlwind year!
I passed probation at the new job a few weeks ago - and got a raise.
Took the bull by the horns in March, made the investment in time and money with Nutrisystem, and dropped 10% of my body weight. Am down two sizes, and counting.
Vacation time this summer was in Montreal with my two sisters - first time since Mum's passing that we have been together in the same place at the same time. Grounding and wonderful.
I have not a darn thing to complain about. I am healthy and happy..!

The Dippy Chronicles Pt. 1: A Cautionary Tale

Once upon a time there was a Princess (Jewish, of course) who was chosen to live in a magic Kingdom.

It was a dynamic community, with the potential for new friends and financial stability. Princess 1 was thrilled with the possibilities, and much impressed by the king ruling this magic kingdom.

It was the king's own magician , Herlin, who had brought her into the kingdom, and been her guide and mentor as she learned her way. When Herlin told her she would be appointed to Princess 2 from Princess 1, she was delighted. In the weeks leading up to her transfer, she prepared mentally and even at home, for the changes ahead.

Until the day the king called her into his throne room.

"Procedural error", he noted. "I will deal with Herlin for doing this. It is MY kingdom, and I should have been consulted. You will remain Princess 1. And we will find a suitable Princess 2 elsewhere."

The Princess was shattered. How could she have so misjudged Herlin? And made the King so displeased about things?
Monday morning, she returned to work, bowed but not broken, at the castle.

When a young damsel presented herself and asked where interviews for Princess 2 were being held, Princess politely escorted her there, wishing her well. She expected many more would arrive that day for interviews. After all, the new Princess 2 post was to start in a few days, and much was now needed to be done, to put the best new candidate in place.

Imagine her surprise when she returned to her desk, to hear from the ladies-in-waiting that the candidate was "la blonde" - the girlfriend - of the King himself!

Princess1 was filled with righteous anger. Within days, she had contacted the Prince and Princess Union and prepared a grievance. The very day she was to make the grievance official, she was summoned to the Throne room. She arrived promptly, expecting ominous retributions.

Retribution there was. But not for her..!

Unbeknownst to her at the time, Herlin had gone over the king's head, and contacted Odin about the timing of the peculiar un-promotion and subsequent swift interview of la blonde. In his office - um, throne room - the king put back in place the arrangements as had been made by Herlin. To the letter.

Princess 1 would become Princess 2 after all.

Later that day, the King held a huge town hall. After a few of the usual announcements, he made a public apology about a mistake he had made regarding a certain hiring. He added that a subordinate had gone over his head to right a wrong, and that he now appreciated what had happened. No names were mentioned.

And then he called forward Herlin, and in front of the audience, announced he would now be called Captain Herlin. In the final irony of the day, the Princess' mentor was getting promoted by the very man he had challenged...!

She slept a deep and profound sleep that weekend.

Good had prevailed. Corruption was curtailed. The sun would rise on a brand new week at the castle.
And the Princess believed once again that she would live happily ever after.

The End

Introducing Deby Nash, Government Employee..!

I think I more fully grasp why some people don't update their own blogs as often as some of us would like: they / we are just too darn busy getting on with life.

Deby has morphed into yet another life change: a new job..!

I started my latest - and hopefully last - job in March. I am working at a military base clinic in a civilian position. From early morning until late afternoon, I am, putting it mildly, never bored. The job is more physically than mentally challenging, but since I am in an entry level position, I accept that it also holds the potential for change.

For the first time in quite a while, my job is full-time and with full benefits. With so many all around me losing their jobs, homes, and financial security, here am I in 2009, living an opportunity I could only dream about.

My friends and family tell me my appearance has changed- in a good way, in that I look and act more relaxed. They are quick to say I was always cheerful and friendly, but am moreso now. I believe that. I have a peace that's been a long time coming.
So now that this aspect is finally helping plant feet on ground, I can look up and around.

(Note to self: Continue to exhale..!)

I wonder what's around the corner. I am open..!

"Shower The People": Obama Inauguration Week Begins

I listened to James Taylor (with John Legend et al) sing that song via Youtube this morning - a day after the live Washington D.C. performance.

When Stevie Wonder's video also popped up, singing "Higher Ground" (with Usher and Shakira), I burst into tears.

Mum and Dad really loved Stevie Wonder's music. I was a trippy hippy when James Taylor became famous. Neither they nor I, in those days, ever imagined the U.S. would have a Black President in our lifetimes.

That I can live through these times in middle age, and they to have just missed it by a few years, is a bittersweet, heady time.

So much to live for.

My parents couldn't live this, but they taught me to live free even when they couldn't.

I stand on their shoulders.

Bahamas 2009 Backwards and Forward

Cannot begin to tell you how wonderful was my two-week Christmas visit to Nassau, to close out 2008.

Saw friends every day. Filled spirit with news of home.

Shared every morning and evening with my beloved sister Diane. Especially enjoyed our private chats during early morning walks along the Cable Beach meridian. Sharing some thoughts about Mum was cathartic. Growing...

Even spent some all-too-brief moments with a pleasant blast from the past. (Thanks, Mark.)

Ever so grateful for my teaching job, and the chance to be gainfully employed while helping people and also learning. I have a good gig.

As for this new year ahead...hmmm. My goal is to be more loving, more fit, and open to more possibilities.

Off to a good start..!

Standing on the Shoulders of Dorrit Nash

I thought the highlight of October was going to a Zoomer presentation by founder Moses Znaimer. I've joined the national organisation and am slowly working towards starting up a Fredericton chapter. All good stuff.

I was wrong.

This week began the two-week book launch tour of Melynda Jarratt's non-fiction book: "Captured Hearts".

The day of her Fredericton book signing , October 30th, would have been the 85th birthday of one of her subjects: my mother, Dorrit.

Melynda is an international expert on Canadian war brides. She profiles over 60 war brides in her book. What joy and pride I felt, at her reading, to hear Mum singled out.

More than a few people came up to me at the reception following -journalists, historians, and just regular folk, to tell me they had read Melynda's book, and that my mother's story is stunning, in many respects.

Mum's war bride experience gets introduced on page 94: "One of the most extraordinary stories to come out of the European continent involves a young Jewish woman from Vienna.". Little snapshots of her life follow, until the last paragraph: "In life, Dorrit's country and family had been taken from her. It would not be so in death."

How true are those words, these days.

The toll since Mum's death in September of last year has been emotional, profound, and of late, more cathartic than I could ever have imagined.

The film documentary about Mum- being researched as we speak - will continue to share her remarkable journey. Researchers and historians are retracing her steps, and updating me along the way. It looks like I will "cross the pond", as they say, to see where she met my Dad in London. There will be a visit to Vienna, her birthplace, too. So many adventures ahead..!

My friendships are deepening. I work at it. It is a gift, just like my mother,that I do not take for granted.
My teaching job is fulfilling and dynamic. My health is great. And my circles are expanding.
What a year...!

P.S. This is the actual "Captured Hearts" book launch:

http://charlesotherpersonality.blogspot.com/2008/11/book-launch-was-very-fancy-event.html

One More Week, Day (September Version)

In one more week
- my new teaching contract will be in effect.
- I will be employed for another year, at a place I enjoy.
- fall, my favorite season, will begin moving towards full colour panorama.
- my calendar will NOT be filled with lunch dates with good friends, cause I want to shed a few pounds before Christmas.
- it will be time to be creative and varied in my new social calendar.
- I will be back at the gym, and it will be a pleasure.
- it will be one week closer to my 2-week holiday in Nassau.

In one more day, I hope I will be wiser, happier, smarter, and
...grateful to have one more day.

Yahrzeit

The actual ceremonial prayers and such took less than a half hour, but it has given me a peace I wasn't expecting.
Each person of the dozen or so who came remembered something about Mum.
Then I repeated the Kaddish for the first time in my whole life. Lightning didn't strike, so I guess my unrehearsed pronunciation was okay.
Afterwards, we all went to Tim Hortons and laughed and chatted over coffee and muffins.
New friends were made. Old ones deepened.
My mother is everywhere.
And I mean that in a good way, today.

Yep, it's My Birthday

This is one of those rare occasions where I will look back a bit farther than I usually do.
I am one of those Satchell Paige ("Don't look back..etc..") believers.
That said, what better time than one's b-day - other than New Year's eve, maybe - to talk about perspective....?

A year ago at this time, I was frantically running between daily visits to my mother in intensive care, and trying to hang onto a part-time job. My nerves were shot, I was really, really broke, and feeling isolated and overwhelmed.

A few months later, I had not even begun to grieve fully the loss of my mother, and was trying to find my feet as the only Anglo French teacher at a small private school.

That's when I was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma.

Christmas was a bust. For the first time, my lovely apartment felt very very small, as I felt trapped during home confinement while recovering from a skin graft....not that I wasn't acutely aware and amazed they got all the cancer cells in time, mind you.

So today, on my latest birthday, there is much to celebrate: I am

- walking, talking, smiling (sometimes simultaneously !);

- sipping on a Tim's (if you're a Canuck, you know what I mean) - thanks for the gift card, Auntie Vi;

- being treated to yet another lunch and dinner, each with a different good friend. There have been many such meals, of late, which tells me that I have established a good circle of friends in this small town of mine;

- planning Mum's yahrzeit - that's a whole story in itself, of new angels in my life.

And last but least....I am amazed at the grace that is constantly insinuating itself into my life....wow!

In One More Day, Week

In one more week
- my teaching contract will be over.
- I will be unemployed.
- summer will be in full bloom.
- my calendar will be filled with lunch dates with good friends.
- I will be back at the gym, and it will be a pleasure.
- it will be one week closer to my 2-week holiday in Nassau.

In one more day, I hope I will be wiser, happier, smarter, and
...grateful to have one more day.

Springing into new things, this Spring

Snow is gone.Warm weather.
Mum's book and documentary discussed round table with the players a few times. Slow but lovely going.
Joined L.A. Weight Loss.
Am dabbling with the idea of a new job.
Got income tax refund. (!)
Life good. Call now.

History Comes Alive

Yes, many moons since my last blog, but this was worth the wait.
My teaching contract ends in a few months. I've enjoyed the work and people. We'll see what happens next re that.
But here is the big - really big, news:
My mother. Dorrit Nash, will soon be a chapter (not a page...a chapter!) in a book about Canadian war brides..!
And this very year, some of her letters, photos, and other effects from WW2 will be displayed in a panel at the local museum.
She does not go gently into that good night, after all.
That's my Mum..!

As Autumn Leaves Dance in The wind

It is a cool, crisp morning. Swirling leaves outside my apartment window send a quiet message that today will soon spin into a new week.
No matter at this moment.
I have spent the weekend in blissful repose, for the first time, easily, in a few months.
Of course Mum is still everywhere. But now, she's a whisper that brings with... a smile and maybe sometimes just a tear. Time to get on with living.
And so I do. And so I shall.
Recent events are a case in point:
I met a gentleman friend for coffee.
Took in an afternoon matinee, spur of the moment, on the weekend. (Have I mentioned I LOVE movies?)
Signed on to eHarmony after getting word of a 3-month special offer.
Spoke to one dear friend in a nearby city, another in a nearby country, and a third, all 3 this morning, from yet another country. I am reminded how lovely it is to speak with people who care about me. They have kept their distance out of either discretion or compassion, and now we are making tentative steps in both directions.
I am emerging into my newest self.
I like me.

Psychic Phenomenon

I just looked at the entry I made online before Mum died.
Considering hers was a sudden death, that is freakin' freaky.

Change

It's two and a half weeks later and I still hurt.
And I know she would want me to go on and be happy, so I am working on that.
The world seems a lot quieter.
And bigger.
I miss her.

Bye, Mum

She moved from this world into the next at 6:20 p.m. Friday, September 7.
I was with her when she released her last sigh.
What a gift was Dorrit Nash, especially during these past four years I have been nearest her...
I am blessed.

More Things Change..

Septembers are always filled with the electricity of change.
Next week is the Harvest Jazz and Blues Fest. I get to see Dr. John in concert. Not to mention some 30 other greats during the entire week. The downtown core is going to be closed to car traffic and will have live jazz and blues on every corner. Great weather for the outdoors.
Sounds then to be soon followed by the sight of the leaves changing colour - a different and even more lush and spectacular show.
Fall: my favorite season.
I have the sense that something is coming up that will change the direction my life. Have no clue exactly what that is. Only that it's coming. Speaking of which...have accepted French teaching/tutoring work until year end. I am going to learn as I teach..great gig!
So I am now committed for a little while. Roots sinking in deeper.

"If there is no wind...row"

...or, as that great American comic Milton Berle once said, "If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door"...!
So that's where I'm at, after last month.
Am back in the land of job / career exploration, and still enjoying the ride.
Amazing my own self, at how much I am managing the unpredictability of every morning.
Much more fun than being a caregiver, I might add. (Mum's doing great these days...whew..!)
Absolutely LOVED teaching both English AND French, second language courses, to a cross-section of folks from both linguistic profiles. What a great way to be reminded of my teaching skills...!
Met some super new francophone friends this month.
Watched La Grande Séduction, completely in French, without even once switching to sub-titles..yay...!
Feeling the pull of la langue.C'est si bon.
Stay tuned for the next adventure...I know I look forward..!

Whew

It's been an unpredictable summer horriblis...
Mum has just been discharged from hospital.
This, after 7 frightening weeks instead of the one we anticipated.
I am glad I was here for her. I sure do appreciate the meaning of family now, more than ever..!
Have no clue what I'll be doing in the fall. Maybe working for the Feds, maybe teaching French full time. Fingers crossed for either / both.
Otherwise, it's a lovely Canadian summer. I am well. Catching my breath.
And still emerging.

The Best Things...

Today's the kind of day the phrase "The best things in life are free" comes to mind.

My sister flew in from Nassau for a whole week, and bought me a new summer / fall wardrobe while we wined and dined and reconnected in the way that sisters do. She is a queen.

This morning I will zip over to hospital, to tell its favorite patient aka my mother how grateful I am that she brought me into the world. Mum's had some real life-and-death events these past few weeks. I do not take for granted the time we have together.

I have received a ton of email greetings from pals from Winnipeg to Freeport - all of whom I cherish dearly and to whom I will send updates later today.

I am being treated to birthday brunch by the first friend I met when I resettled in Fredericton. Quality time.

My health is still great. I love my gym time. I am still looking for a full time gig... and still have no debts.

Such abundance, on my birthday..!